On January 27th, 2013, I was baptized at Community Bible Church in Vallejo, California during evening service. I had the opportunity to give a very brief testimony on God’s holiness, faithfulness and patience, on the trials that I went through in my life, and how God used those trials to bring me back to Him and bring glory unto His name.
I present my testimony in full here for whomever may read it. To God be the glory.
My life is quite a work in progress. Many areas of it lay cordoned off with yellow tape and are either under construction or left abandoned. It’s like watching a shopping center slowly go out of business.
I wasn’t able to get that Bachelor’s Degree from the school(s) I attended.
I never did bother to continue pursuing those various computer certifications I said I was going to try for.
I haven’t been able to stick to the exercise and diet plans I had laid out.
I haven’t been consistent in my studies. I fail to be consistent in my Japanese language study and I haven’t even picked up that programming book ever since I bought it.
I can probably go on, but the bottom line is my life is full of shortcomings and failures. For this, I have no one to blame for but myself. It’s kind of funny and sad because I distinctly remember a middle school project I had where I was asked what would be written on my epitaph. In my inability to think of anything good, I wrote something along the lines that I “finished what I started” or “got the job done” or something lame like that. In looking back, I don’t see any event or accomplishment in my life that would attest to that.
I truly am a flawed creature. Yes, everyone has their own flaws as nobody is perfect, but I often felt that I got the shorter end of the stick in this lottery called life.
There was nothing in my life that I could brag or boast about. I wallowed in self-pity and self-doubt and selfishness and escapism. I felt inadequate and I felt that particular quality couldn’t be changed.
And why should I even try to? It’s all meaningless, anyway. “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity”. (Ecc. 1:2)
I ran from my responsibilities. I ran from my pursuits. Most importantly, I ran from God.
As I am, who would embrace one so sad, wretched, and pitiful? Who would accept one so wicked, depraved, and corrupt? Who would seek after one who ran from Him, who hated and despised Him, who turned away to pursue selfish desires, and didn’t want anything to do with Him?
There is One. Continue reading “Into the Waters: My Testimony”